Turds are not really turds even though we flush them down the toilet and drown them every day.
Turds are really people.
Those that are not drowned in modern toilets and those that do not get run over with cars or get eaten by dogs will grow into spirits and go up and live in the sky with the other turds and angels and god.
God made turds so that you and I could live into eternity.
One turd after another but you must believe in this turd in order to have everlasting life...
You must also worship this unseen turd always and never say anything bad about him or you will be condemned to water and there you will spend your life..
Eternally immersed in water and shit for the rest of your life and on into eternity..
For ever after so help me god..
You must believe in this turd..
The king says so..
It is so..
You must believe in him..
To say anything bad about him is blasphemy and to be put to death by the kings courts and the kings men..
So help me god..
Every living man..
Later on we will tell you how all these turds came to be..
To be continued..
The Holy Turd Book
By Tom Bunnell