It's not a big fight and my weight slowly decreasing gives me energy to fight that fight.
I'm hell bent to get back down to the 248# that I had gotten down to a few years back.
I jumped to 278# late one winter while binging on and off and haven't been lower than 278# since.
I went as high as 310# just a year ago or better.
370# was my original starting weight before I began this diet in October of 2006.
I'm about 275# right now.
A milestone in my recovery.
I'm never binging again ever.
I'm headed for 248# and then on down from there.
For round numbers I would like to see 170#.
That would be a 200# weight loss.
Fat is shit.
I locked myself out of drugs and alcohol and gambling and tobacco and caffeine, years ago.
Zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, for eighteen and more years now.
You couldn't put a gun to my head and get me to use or do any one of them.
That's how I want sugar and hybrid carbs to be.
I'm sure I will dabble in low low carb vegetables again and probably salt and seasonings.
Even a few nuts and berries now and then.
Possibly a salad.
Water will always be what I drink, and the only thing I drink.
Nothing but water, ever.
A few grams of carbs here and there if it doesn't create massive carbohydrate cravings, I will try.
If it does it's back to zero.
For now I'm going to stay at zero.
Chipping they call it.
They start out trying tiny amounts again and the next thing they know they are back to their full blown addiction and everything that goes with it.
Sugars and carbohydrates can be that bad.
You got to really lock down.
When I'm able to say you couldn't put a gun to my head and get me to use sugar or carbohydrates again, I will be there.
Problem is these small amounts.
I really don't mind being zero carb forever if that's what it takes.
My concerns are is zero carb and zero salt and zero seasonings good for my health.
Or will it inadvertently kill me.
I'm doing all this so I can have a decent remainder of my life.
Whatever years I have left.
That, and then it turned into my discovery.
I want to bring that forward.
Otherwise dying is not that big a deal.
Nobody wants to die, and I don't either.
I want to be here for my grandchildren as long as I can.
That is my purpose in life.
My joy in life.
My discovery just fell into that.
Completely unknown and completely unintended.
Nobody believes or understands what I'm saying.
That amazes me.
It's so simple a dog could see it.
Nobody will look.
It bounces off like water off a ducks back.